And so it came to pass that the noblemen of the lands of Yorkshire did summon their heralds to proclaim the annual two seat tournament of Pocklington. Word reached the southern estates of Lord Jones of Hemyock and he did call upon his Faithfull knights to give service in the quest for glory in forth coming contest.
It was with good heart that the Lord and his band of Sir JB of Taunton, Sir Phillip of Exmouth, Sir Pursey of the S Hams and the enchanted man known as Magic Malcolm trekked north in a cavalcade of wagons taking with them many and various vittles with which to endure in the forth coming battles. Precious caskets from the lands of Jura did sit prominently in Lord Jones’ wagon as he navigated the pilgrims’ route known as the M18. His fortress established with dining hall, kitchens and knights’ quarters, a flag was raised and feasting commenced. Much merriment was had and foods from exotic lands prepared in the kitchens and consumed along with much ale and wines. The precious caskets from Jura were broached…
Best Wood for yea Team Eagle |
Suitably prepared and emboldened, the knights started the first round of the tournament.
Strong winds from the NW brought much turmoil and excitement to the air, with clouds showing varied forms and heights. Sir Phillip took with him the wizard as he prepared the mighty Albatross, his faithful steed. Sir JB and Sir Pursey brought forth the noble Eagle and sat in trepidation as the men of the north readied their craft. The day proved a challenge too far for the more venerable craft with all but the Eagle retreating to the land of Pocklington as the demons in the sky showered rotors and eddies to tear the craft from the sky. Sir JB with much skill fought to keep the Eagle aloft but skimming a magical forest and with wild hogs adjacent, a field recently cleared by local peasantry was a welcome refuge.
Meanwhile with enchantments from the wizard, the Albatross prevailed and rode to lands beyond the Banks of Sutton and back down the glorious Vale of York. Sir Phillip came unstuck when a wicked weather goblin filled the sky with clouds and cast the mighty Albatross down into a field near the parish of Wetherby. Lord Jones sent knights and local serfs with the loyal Disco 4 to retrieve for the Albatross had endured a weakness in it's main gear on settling. Sir Phillip tended his steed and all was well. Lord Jones decreed that feasting should commence and all manner of fine foods procured from a guy operated by a maiden from the East. Ale was consumed and the caskets from Jura broached.
The next day brought rain but the heralds summoned the combatants and proclaimed Sir JB the day winner for venerable craft. Lord Jones announced that a banquet should be held and sent word to the visiting knights with craft of Wood. Fires were lit and Paella was served, much ale and wine consumed and all was good.
Sir Pusey's Paella Pan |
The following day the heralds revealed that through knavish trickery the venerable craft were also to compete with the white beasts from the land of Puchacz! Sir JB sought the skills of the wizard and Sir Phillip took Sir Pursey on a quest across and up the Vale. Lord Jones’ knights prevailed and returned safely so he decreed that feasting should commence and the caskets of Jura opened.
The rains arrived and so the Lord ordered an inspection of the northern lands. The Lady Gill of Exmouth prepared a feast for the Lord’s return and much merriment had. On the advice of the maiden Linden, a magic potion known as Gaviscon was used to supplement the waters of Jura.
Friday brought the news that the wise elder of met had had visions of great joy in the sky and so urged the knights to be ready to visit the whole realm. Sir Phillip took on Alan of Essex, a loyal footman of Sir Pursey and the Lord of Hemyock challenged Sir Pursey to leave the Vale. And so came the mighty deciding battle. Fresh winds made the melee at first castle North of York a challenge and brought much urging of the venerable Eagle to prevail. From almost tree roosting height, below the tops of the Wolds, the Eagle endured and brought it level with the venerable craft of dastardly Baron Fox, the king’s own ambassador for flying tuition. From here varied routes were taken under the clouds but both craft crossed the Humber together heading south to the Vale of Trent where legend has tale of dragons breathing fire from monstrous nostrils that line the Trent.
Sight was lost of the by now lower Baron and Lord Jones declared it a sign that his forces would triumph! The untouchable Albatross romped down the Vale to Grantham and then out west before sailing home. However much flying was being exerted to take the Eagle to the parish of Newark and then to head north. Word was received that those knavish folk of Puchacz were in a mighty quest and indeed one was sighted as the Eagle sought refuge round the dragons nostrils. Sadly the dragons did not breathe on that day and Sir Pursey had to resort to enchantments and holy recitals to survive. One mighty climb over the hamlet of Scunthorpe to the pair to 5000’ but the sky demons had added high cloud and removed all traces of usable lift. Sir Pursey took Lord Jones to another area cleared by locals and only 15k from the Land of Pock. By careful manoeuvring the Eagle took down with its talons a goblin disguised as a hare. The lord summoned his Disco 4 and in act of pity the dead goblin placed in a magic Tesco “bag for life” but alas the poor creature had already gone to enchanted lands. With 230k recorded the Lord declared it time for feasting and rejoicing. Fires were lit and the young squire Williamson sent for vittles. Late into the evening went the tomfoolery and japes before fatigue hit all.
The next day the herald’s cry brought news that Lord Jones’ and Sir Pursey’s efforts had brought the most slender of leads. With poor weather forecast Lord Jones declared it a holiday, promptly drank a flagon of wine and went to sleep. That evening much merriment was had.
Much merriment! |
With rain to follow the nobles of the North declared the tournament over and proclaimed the Eagle as the best wooden craft. Sir Phillips efforts were valiant but by knavish twist the size of his steed was made to count against him and more nimble craft prevailed.
Lord Jones then issued orders to return to the southern land and the flag was lowered. So ended the 2016 Tournament of Pocklington. - Sir JP